Annoying people you  will meet at any party
1. Oh, So Avant Garde
I’ve become victim to meeting one too many 20
somethings climbing the social art ladder. Is it
really necessary to wear a full blown tux at a
house party whilst trying to convert people into
becoming a Jeff Koons collector? Not only do I
not have the $$ to fund an art collection, hence
why I am drinking out of paper cups instead of
crystal. But I also don’t want to spend my night
talking about minimalism, symbolism or realism.
2. THE Couple
There is nothing more hypocritical than a couple
boasting about their ability to socialize together
when all they do is sit in the corner and make out.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you and
all. But I don’t want to feel like I am watching the
pre-beat to a homemade video. If you insist
you’re a couple that parties together, then you
should be a couple that doesn’t have to stay
linked by the hip for the next couple hours.
3. Bathroom Girls
I’m all for sharing a new Kylie Lip Kit with a rando
babe in the bathroom, BUT there too many life
plans made in the girls’ bathrooms. Waking up on
a Sunday with a new number or two means one
thing: You probably stood in the bathroom for half
the party with a girl you never met and made
plans to take up pole dancing classes, get
matching tattoos that show your love for Harry
Potter or even travel to Asia together. FYI it’s
most likely not going to happen.
4. For the Followers
There is a fine line between taking a few
Snapchats/photos and spending your entire night
glued to your phone. I mean really? Is the party
that lame? Or are you just trying to prove to
everyone how GR8 your life is. Unless your
Snapchats are more entertaining than your friend
attempting to funnel beer, then you don’t need to
video 300 seconds of the night. Especially of
you lip-synching, or even worse singing, the new
Chainsmokers album.
5. The Degenerate
Please don’t be that person who can’t hold their
drink. We all LOVE getting a bit tipsy and dabbing
a few too many times. There’s no need to overdo
it and forever be known as the girl who ruined my
vintage bomber jacket by chundering all over it.
So please stop before you flirt with someone’s
boyfriend, force people to play never have I ever,
or need to be carried home.
6. Background Check
He/she who talks absolute bull shit. We all
exaggerate a bit here and there when we’re drunk
and meeting new people. But if your entire night
entails making new friends by telling them you
have a private jet or your daddy owns Universal
Studios, you need to rein it in. Everyone has
insecurities but there is no need to pretend you’re
a 25-year-old mogul millionaire. It is also hugely
embarrassing if you get caught out, which you
will. Google knows everything, duh. And FYI no
one cares about how much you have in your bank
account!!!!