Why it counts: About 20 percent of women consider your online “friendship” with an ex as cheating. But to be fair, it should only count to a certain degree, explains Hokemeyer.
Do you constantly check up on what your ex doing? Do you get jealous when you see photos of her with other guys on .? Do you get angry when you see her doing something fun? Then you probably haven’t moved on, which is a sign that you’re not ready to fully commit to your current partner, he says.
Your move: If you do find yourself checking up on your ex, it’s time to hit that “unfriend” . and move on, especially if you want to make things work with someone new, says Hokemeyer. But if you genuinely just appreciate your ex as a person and friend, and feel that you’ve completely let go and would like to maintain a positive relationship with her, then you should be able to do so, he says.
“Women feel uncomfortable with you being online friends with an ex because they feel threatened . them,” says Hokemeyer. “For some reason, they are insecure in the relationship.”
So before you take any action to unfriend or unfollow, spend sometime figuring out what it is that’s actually making her feel insecure—then take action accordingly.
Why it counts: Before you freak out, only 22 percent of women consider watching P0*n without her cheating. And most of the time, P0*n is actually pretty harmless. In fact, your partner should respect your individuality when it comes to se*uality, says Greer.
But it may start to affect your relationship if it becomes excessive, says Hokemeyer. Why? P0*n can take you out of your primary relationship and into a fantasy world you don’t really want to leave, he explains. If watching X-rated videos gets you off more than your partner does, then that’s a problem.
Your move: Her annoyance with P0*n is rooted in her ego, says Hokemeyer. If she catches you watching it without her, she might feel as though she doesn’t satisfy you on her own, so it’s your job to assure her that she does.
Then, offer to watch it with her, suggests Hokemeyer. Research even suggests that couples who watch X-rated videos together are more sexually satisfied than those who don’t.
Why it counts: Would you be comfortable with your girlfriend busting out dollar bills to surround herself with hot men flopping their junk in her face? There’s a reason nearly 30 percent of women are turned off . strip clubs.
If you’re comfortable enough planting your face in someone else’s b**bs, she’s probably going to assume that you have no problem with crossing those boundaries outside of the club, too, says Hokemeyer.
Your move: Don’t want to miss out on your best friend’s bachelor party? Save yourself the heated argument and just ask her if it’s okay first, suggests Hokemeyer.
“Give her an opportunity to have a voice in the matter,” he says. So even if she’s okay with it, establish some ground rules. That way, you’re fully aware of what she is and isn’t comfortable with when you’re out with the guys.
Why it counts: More than 40 percent of women say that wining and dining with another woman you’re attracted signals infidelity.
But this is where things tend to get a little tricky. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else. The human brain is wired to seek out potential mates, says Hokemeyer, so you need to be honest with yourself.
“Are you going out with them to get laid, or simply to enjoy their company?” says Hokemeyer. “Women consider these types of dinners cheating because they are risky. There’s a real risk they will turn into something more.”
Your move: Having dinner with another woman will probably make her feel insecure about your relationship, especially if you try hiding it from her. Put yourself in her shoes: Why invest your time and money in another woman when you have her?
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